On My Own....Again

It was one of those days in the home office that I know too well: I type or edit on my computer until my wrists hurt, while I listen to children’s laughter pepper Banda music blasting through the airwaves.

One of my New Years resolutions was to get out of the house more. Yes, I am an introvert, but no, I do not enjoy being isolated.

After my umpteeth conversation with my dad about weather I should stay in and work, or join the living outdoors, I decided to get some fresh air. In theory, going out to enjoy oneself is a great idea: There’s no need to consult another person about one’s whereabouts, one can do what one pleases, and come back as late or as early as one desires. However, motivating myself to have fun alone is hard to do when I attached being social to having a posse around me.

The stomach churning anxiety I get when I have to get dressed and walk out into the world by myself is so real. Why do I have to do another thing alone? Going out alone for me represents my entire journey in Los Angeles. Sometimes I have a group of people I can attend social events with, but more often that not, friends become associates and I’m on my own to go out there to “make it happen.”

Just last night, as I prepared to get ready to go to a free comedy show, I dreaded having to get ready, walk to the train station, but I knew once that whiskey and soda hit my bloodstream and the 1st comic came on stage, I was probably going to have a great time. And wouldn’t you know it, I had a good time.

2015 has been one of the toughest years for me on record, but instead of not getting out of bed and ruminating over crappy people, I realized that like my business, if I wanted my personal life to be a success, I had to get out into the world and make it happen myself – don’t overthink – just do it.