Damn, Gabby. Back At It Again!
You can have all the intellegence in the world, but if you don't know who you are and what you're capable of, then your opportunities will go to waste. I was a high achiever, a child who was used to being successful in school and sports, and I worked my butt off. While other students in my AP History class could score an A+ on their critical writing paper and play sports year-round without their grades suffering, I was 17, working 25 hours a week, carrying a full college-prep course load and was slowly losing my mind because I never thought I was good enough.
My childhood in no way shape or form was a normal one. Growing up in metro Detroit in the 90s was a peaceful time and I got all the "excitement" I needed at home. My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic and life at home was a war zone, where I was always in fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, so as to not upset her. Needless to say, I was beast at staying invisable and telling people exactly what they wanted to hear weather or not it was what I wanted or not.
This may have served me well at home, but in my adult life - especially in my profesional life - the results were not so great. After lots of counseling and prayer, I finally understood that if I wanted to be anything in life, I had to drop the need to please others and ask for what I needed - even if it made others and myself uncomfortable.
It's not easy, but I ask for what I need for now and I know that in order for me to achieve my dreams, I've got to believe in myself, take more deep breaths, and just go for it.
I can't wait for what the rest of the year holds for me and I look forward to getting - and staying out of my own damn way.